I feel so guilty and I don’t even know if it is guilty to feel guilty…
I passed a bus stop on my walk to work the other day. Two men were sitting there, barefooted, a bit ragged clothes, a shovel each, and a pengki*. A common view, I knew they were looking for a job. As I passed them, suddenly I felt guilty. The feeling just came up suddenly, I couldn’t even look at them directly.
Those men must have a family waiting at home, hoping they would get a job today so they could all eat. I know it’s difficult for them to get a job everyday. Every single day they have to struggle to find a job.
"I hope you all can find a job soon," I whispered in my heart guiltily as I quickly walked by. If they were lucky and could earn Rp 50.000 for today, the money had to be so useful for them. I just spent the whole of it for some lunch yesterday. I felt a bit down suddenly.
Today, there is a book bazaar at my office. Everyone is coming so we have food stands, too. I just had bought some lunch there when I caught an office boy looking at everyone with plastic bags in hands, full of food and books, which are not really cheap. There was an expression on his face I couldn’t make out, but it made me feel guilty again….
*An Indonesian word, an open basket for carrying dirt, etc.
