I was feeling so sick this morning when I woke up. My temperature was higher and I felt so weak.
Usually my mind would recall on the things I did previously, pretending to be my own doctor. The weather has been hot and like every night, I let the fan on all night. Surely not because of it? I ate what I usually eat. I don’t cook myself. There might be some bacteria hidden in my food? Who knows? But that would upset my stomach instead of my temperature? I have no ideas, either.
What could be the cause then?
I was riding on a motorcycle last nite from church. Could it be the bad night wind? Or the bad pollution? Could be….
Thinking of pollution, I remember what happened the day before. I got a headache out of a sudden when I accidentally (can it be on purpose??) inhaled the smoke from cigarettes at work. Some of my co-workers were smoking inside the emergency exit and the smoke was just creeping out innocently to my desk. It is forbidden to smoke there but they were just a bunch of idiots, I assume.
Then at night, I smelled the cigarette smoke out of nowhere in my room. I was ready to sleep and it’s almost midnight. I was starting to get dizzy again so I opened my door and window to let the smell disappear. That had to be from another boarder who smokes in her room at night. Another idiot.
I was feeling so helpless this morning. I didn’t know what made me sick. Maybe the combination of all those things. But anyway…
Being helpless makes me realize how I feel like a dust in His eyes.
